Monday, July 14, 2008

The all important question - also the one with no answers - WHY??? A question unanswered after 2 sudden shocks in the recent past - Dad & Mum. History repeats itself.

The next one - WHY HIM?? A person who was careful about getting his tests done on time and more importantly making sure he followed doctor's instructions. Then again, who goes through an MRI or expects the worst for a simple headache??? Surgery over - doctor's opinion post surgery - 90% tumour removed - long term not so good, ok for the short term. Who is to define the short and long term here? Statistics is all we have to go by.

All lives directly and not so directly connected gone topsy turvy - in every sense of the phrase - emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. In and out of hospitals - seizures, sodium levels fluctuating, numbness etc...

Through all of these things, his spirits are up. Suddenly everyone is spending a lot more time researching on the web looking at information on the possibilities, talking to doctors and others and everyone is in the garb of a doctor. Doctor visits become more frequent. Blood tests become routine. The worst part is that there is nothing one can do to alleviate the pain he is going through and also be there just in case any of the other immediate care takers need a break.

Believe me, it is no fun when people call to find out what the situation is. There is really nothing great to write home about. Yes, one understands it is people who care and all of that but then..... Strangely our visits to Chennai increased and we would just drive down even if it was for a weekend. Spend as much time as one could with him since the writing was on the wall. But the most admirable aspect of him was the fact that he made the effort to go out and do stuff he wanted to and be part of an activity. For the most part he succeeded. I was surprised to hear that when Vicky was in Chennai, they were out for dinner. When I asked who all were there, he said Bhaski, Kaki, Kutti payya etc. Was not sure what emotions came over then.

Not an acknowledgement, but it would be unfair to Kaki if her strength in handling the situation was not mentioned. Everytime I spoke to Kaki either on the phone or in person, she would be steady and strong in her thoughts and actions. Lest he or the boys get demoralised. Patience has been one of her virtues.

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