It's been one year. Time. Heals?

Appa (1951-2008)

Last year, by this time it was all over. The end of a troubling and painful battle against nature and what was meant to be. He braved it all along and never really winced too much about it. It's been a year since and I can only wonder what it would have been like if he was still around. Healthy, of course!

I looked at this photo for a few minutes today and in a flash, saw what I had seen of him in the last 27 years of my life. And it almost felt like he was looking back at me.

(This post was originally posted at http://saturnring.wordpress.com, my blog)

Courage In The Face of Certain Death

Senator Edward Kennedy spoke at the Democratic National Convention today. In his short but eloquent speech from the convention stage, Sen. Kennedy reminded me about what courage meant. Just the fact that he was there today - eight weeks post surgery for a particularly nasty Glioblastoma Multiformae - was an object lesson in courage. At 76 years of age Sen. Kennedy has lived a life few will be able to imagine.

His being at the convention reminded me of the few days in February that Bhaskar actually went back to work. Just the fact that he went back - even if it was just for a few days - set an example that will serve us well.

It is now almost two months since Bhaskar passed away. I often wonder what he thought of in those last weeks and days. In between his frequent hospital visits, he did have periods of relative calm at home - time that must have been both precious and tortuous at once. Precious because he could spend it with Jayanthi, Rethas and Krishna, tortuous because he did in fact sense that he had but a few weeks remaining.

To know that the end is near and to still go through the day takes a particular form of courage. Bhaskar had the courage. Sen. Kennedy has the courage. So do the thousands of people around the world who suffer through this horrendous disease. I hope that the association of someone as prominent as Sen. Edward Kennedy sheds more light on this disease and someday leads to its eradication.

My flight landed at Chennai in the early hours of June 29th 2008. The terminal was packed with people arriving from various places - the US, Europe, Japan etc. I noted that air travel had become increasingly democratic...

That thought brought in another one - cancer too was a great equalizer, knowing no bounds in its democratic zeal to strike at anyone, anywhere, at anytime. In the fall of 2007, had I asked any member of my extended family if they were aware of "Glioblastoma Multiformae", the likely answer would have been - "who's in the movie? what kind of movie is it? action? comedy?"

A horror flick. All the blood and gore that Hollywood could muster was no match for the horrors that had unfolded over the past eight months. The thing of it was, as common as the cancer experience was across the world, each individual one was unique in its agony and told the story of unmitigated devastation. A personalized horror flick.